Saturday, July 30, 2005

Seeking answers in the flames...

Every once in a while, when I have deep questions that need answered, I rely on an old technique I love- build a fire, let the world go silent around you, and listen. Answers are usually given, and pretty clearly.

The flames have been asked many questions through the years- med school, life and love, trial and triumph- and they have never failed me.

Last night, when I was walking through Miakonda with a friend, I kept picking up this distinct sense of unease. Something was wrong, something was foreign. I have walked those woods for many years, and seen many things, but this was unusual. It wasn't the loudness of the gathering in the dining hall, as the green woods have seen that for over 80 years. It wasn't the weather, as I have ridden out storms worthy of Noah in those woods. There was a great confusion in those woods, and one that I cannot place. All I did know was that it was time to leave. I've walked those woods for years without fear, but this night, something was telling me to leave, and quickly, that it was not safe. The woods were presented with an enemy that they were confused by, and it was not for me to fight.

So, I did what I could. After leaving, and praying for the easing of the discontent, I asked the guidance of the flame. My answer was given. There was a great disharmony there, which I already knew. However, the years of Scouts wandering those woods, the decades of pure hearts, made it immune to that. Time would heal it, I merely needed to escape, as I have no such immunity.

Now, in the light of a new day, that darkness has been cleansed. I will not venture there without a friend at my side, but it will heal. Sometime soon, we will wander those woods again, and we will see them as they have always been- quiet, but not silent. Guiding, but not forcing. Immutable, but not incapable of feeling.


Blogger Bainwen Gilrana said...

It is good that you not go back there alone. Very strange things can happen during and after such times of inbalance.

7/30/2005 5:13 PM  

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