Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Confidence.

Confidence is a funny thing.

Back a year and change ago, I radiated confidence. Swagger. I was an Honors graduate, cum laude in Biology with departmental Honors, going to med school in the Fall. My research had gone well, I'd presented it at a major symposium for undergraduates, and it was to be published in a medium-level journal in Spring.

I had it all.

Then, it all slid away. Med school? Sorry, bud. Try for 2006. Publishing my work? Maybe by 2007. Back to UT, taking a mix of classes I hated, starting on a Master I really didn't want.

Confidence? What's that? My Midas touch had turned to dust. What once turned golden at a glance now crumbled as if it were sand. Me, the guy who had laughed at 4000-level classes and found As easily, had to wrestle Satan for a C in a 3000-level.

But, that started to turn around. Friends began to stand with me, and hold me up when I seemed about to fall. One friend, in particular, was invaluable. She listened when I needed an ear, held me close when I cried in fear of what was out there, and stood West for me when I needed her aid.

Now, she claims I walk with a new confidence. A swagger without arrogance, she calls it. And it fits me. :-)

My friend, one who saved my confidence and brought my swagger back, I thank you with all my soul. :-)

2 Comments:

Blogger Bainwen Gilrana said...

The "swagger without arrogance" does indeed suit you well. I am glad you feel it again. You are becoming as you are supposed to be. I hope you realize this for yourself. And if what little I have done for you has helped you, then it was my honor to have done so. :-)

7/27/2005 2:26 PM  
Blogger Tirithien said...

And if what little I have done for you has helped you, then it was my honor to have done so.

What little you have done? You are one of the driving forces! You are the reason for a good deal of that swagger's return. :-)

Thanks. :-)

7/27/2005 2:59 PM  

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