Thursday, October 06, 2005



A simple word, really. Not English, not a misspelling of the beverage, but one of the Lakota. Its meaning?

Well, I'll let Lame Deer, medicine man of the Lakota Nation, do the honors.

"Friend. White people use this term lightly. Maybe you don't know what real friendship is. The young men who vowed to become a kola to one another would almost become one single person. They shared everything- life and death, pain and joy, the last mouthful of food... They had to be willing at all times to give their lives for each other."

Lame Deer speaks only of male-male bonds, but I am convinced that male-female can exist. How do I know? I've seen it.

When I graduated college, I was king of the hill. Bachelor's with Honors, cum laude on top of that, interviews to medical school, I had it all.

Then, it crumbled. My Midas touch turned to dust. No shot at medical school this time. Close, but no cigar. Stuck doing courses I didn't want to do, to have a crack at 2006. I posted to a message board I frequent, and asked advice.

A friend answered the call. Through posts on there and emails, she talked me out of my funk, and started helping me get my confidence back. Then, in April, we met for lunch.

It was strange. Not like meeting someone new at all, but like seeing an old friend. We talked like we'd known each other for years, and when we parted, I felt a deep sadness tempered with joy. I had found a friend, and a good one. She couldn't stay that day, but I still had found a friend.

I helped her cope with a failing marriage, encouraging therapy and doing all I could to try and help. Through it all, though, I didn't realize the most important thing that was going on.

I was falling in love.

One day, we kissed, and that sealed it. Looking deep in her eyes, I saw love as clear as the sunlight and as pure as fine gold.

Now, I stand on the border, looking out into the great Unknown. Medical school applications again, interviews coming soon, but this time, I have my kola by my side. This time, I am loved.

Whom might this be? The reader doubtlessly knows.

Bainwen, my kola, I love you.


Blogger clew said...

As a wise friend once told me, things happen in strange and mysterious ways for strange and wonderful reasons.

You guys ROCK.

10/06/2005 9:45 PM  
Blogger Tirithien said...

*blushes a little*

Thanks. :-)

10/06/2005 9:55 PM  
Blogger Bainwen Gilrana said...

I love you, my kola. Thank you for writing this, beloved. :-)

10/06/2005 10:41 PM  
Blogger Blu Sol said...

That's deep.........and I love it.

10/07/2005 8:37 AM  
Blogger naive-no-more said...

Congratulations you two! Tirithien, you'll undoubtedly recognize this being master of song lyrics. "What's meant to be will always find a way"

Best of luck always!

10/07/2005 9:44 AM  
Blogger Tirithien said...

Yeah, I know it. :-) I'd hope her daddy thinks I'm worth more than a lick, though. ;-)

10/07/2005 4:56 PM  
Blogger Bainwen Gilrana said...

When it comes to brains you got more than the short end of the stick. ;-)

See, I've even heard that song!

10/08/2005 11:30 AM  
Blogger clew said...

watchin the chickens peck the ground ... for some reason that line always cracks me up ...

10/08/2005 12:28 PM  
Blogger naive-no-more said...

Altogether now....she's in love with the boy....(spinning on my office chair)

10/08/2005 1:35 PM  
Blogger Bainwen Gilrana said...

*sings happily*

And even if they have to run away....

You know when I was 14 or so, that song was helping shape my ideas about love. Silly, I know! :-)

10/08/2005 2:14 PM  
Blogger Tirithien said...

*blushes slightly*

She's gonna marry that boy someday! :-)

10/08/2005 2:31 PM  
Blogger Bainwen Gilrana said...

*blushes even more redly*

I was blushing too much to finish out the chorus. ;-)

Yay, blog sing-along time!

10/08/2005 2:45 PM  
Blogger Bainwen Gilrana said...

Okay, I hadn't heard that song in years, but then when I was driving over to visit Tirithien on Saturday, it came on the radio!

Coincidence? You decide! ;-)

10/10/2005 9:13 AM  
Blogger naive-no-more said...

It's Cheryl Richardson on the prowl, I tell ya! (Refer to my post "fun little game for the weekend").

I bet you've been singing it ever since. How are the lovebirds?

10/10/2005 9:48 AM  
Blogger Bainwen Gilrana said...

It was a wonderful and mushy weekend. :-)

Tirithien made dinner for me yesterday. He's a better cook than I am!

10/10/2005 9:52 AM  
Blogger Tirithien said...


I have been known to put something together from time to time... :-)

10/10/2005 12:07 PM  

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